Things Fall Apart

All of a sudden I feel like my life is something of a mess. Again.

For starters, I had another interview yesterday and I’m not at all sure how it went. The interviewer said that they were talking to a lot of people for the position and they would only call back two for a second interview, but that he would be in touch either way. Great. That sounds wonderful. Basically I am competing against a LOT of (probably more qualified) people for a position at a VERY fancy school downtown. It seems like a nice place and I know a lot of people there, but I don’t want to get my hopes up.

The other job has not gotten back to me, so I can imagine what that means. The problem is that my summer job starts next week and I don’t know when I will be able to interview for other positions. And with my current health situation, I really need to have health insurance. So I’m basically in freak-out panic mode. Which makes me cranky. And fight with my whole family for no reason. And then I feel bad and get crankier. It’s really a vicious cycle.

Hopefully I will not be job-less and living in my parent’s apartment until I am 27. Because I would probably lose my mind.

In other news, I drunkenly made out with a stranger this weekend at a bar. Because I’m classy like that. It should be noted that it was my last night of drinking for nine months. Because I’m pregnant. JUST KIDDING. Not funny. My health situation requires me to take medication for nine months which=no alcohol. Good for my wallet, not so much for my social life. Anyway, Friday night I had a sort of last hurrah of partying at my friends’ joint birthday get together. And got plastered. And made out with a sketchy guy who I will never see again. Although we did exchange numbers and he lives in my neighborhood. It was really strange to be with someone else. I haven’t kissed anyone besides the Ex in 2.5 years. I forgot what it was like to be with someone else. It was kind of nice (minus the sketchiness) and I didn’t feel guilty or start bawling in the middle. So I guess this is progress.

Baby steps, right?

Girl’s Night

I really needed this. Tonight I went out with my friend Audrey. We went to a classic Upper West Side bar which was fun and very desperately needed. I was hoping to maybe flirt with some cute guys (let’s face it, I need some male attention), but she is taken so we just hung out, which was nice as well. I got a tad too drunk, but I’m going through a tough time, so clearly, it’s acceptable. Plus we went during happy hour, so the whole bar was half off (!!!).

We also went to see our friend Emily’s new apartment which was really nice. I’m jealous. I’m craving some independence.

This point didn’t really have a point except to say that I am nicely tipsy and I enjoyed some much needed girl time.

Also, I have gone 2 days without communicating with the Ex at all. It’s rough.